Just a little bit OCD?

OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) has hit the media headlines and for all the right reasons. You can't be just a little OCD.

Generally dismissed as a minor condition, a flippant description of someone who wants and needs to be tidy, or makes sure their pantry staples are neatly stacked, ordered with labels facing forwards.

No. OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) is a mental health condition that disrupts lives. OCD manifests itself when someone becomes trapped in a pattern of obsessions. These are unwanted intrusive thoughts that collide; vicious cycles of internal thoughts and ruminations, like tornadoes, swirling in repetitive spirals, often dark, violent and triggered suddenly, sometimes without warning, sometimes out of habit, a default behaviour. For me, and many others, these thoughts are so powerful, increasing feelings of helplessness and severe distress. So in come the compulsions to self soothe to regain safety and control. These are repeated actions or rituals - for me tapping, counting, checking, all debilitatingly time consuming, emotionally draining. These physical controls are the only ways to reduce these feelings. Repeated rituals are carried out until the feeling of safety and control is regained.

Shameful, secret, invisible yet so loud in the individual sufferers’ heads. Actress Tuppence Middleton has ‘come out’, calling her inner demons Scorpions, the title of her memoir, igniting a revealing and frank discussion with LBC’s Sheila Fogarty and her guest, Dr Lynne Drummond, expert and author of ‘Everything you need to know about OCD’ last Friday, February 14th. Valentine's Day - universally known as the day of love. (available to listen on globalplayer.com catch up.) Thank you to the brave callers sharing their OCD story.

For me, it came as a timely reminder to continue to be compassionate and kind to my inner little girl. The little girl who, at 5, did not understand what was happening around her. And had to turn to her own rituals and obsessions to grab back feelings of safety and control.

My individual story is of childhood trauma. Discovering and seeing myself, as an adult child of an alcoholic (I write about this journey in my previous essays on my Substack) Understanding, with self-compassion, how I was robbed of a solid emotional grounding growing up, leading me to become a doubt ridden vulnerable adolescent and fearful adult.

But I am lucky. Therapy and self-development helped me understand the source of my OCD and anxiety. I learned how to rewire my brain for joy. I learned how to use my anxiety to propel myself into a new life filled with joy, meaning, validation and inner peace. I discovered my joy and new skills through my love of cooking.

Without knowing, I had always been shifting my emotional state with cooking and the reward of distraction- TV box sets. Cooking and TV shows were my source of joy. My friends called me Boxsetbetty. I cooked with love (my then, unknown to me, neurodivergent brain) scouring and collecting cookery books, identifying and reworking recipe methods, breaking processes down into manageable time chunks. All designed to be set aside until I was ready to assemble, cook and serve. My own time plan, designed to fit in with my day.

So I always had a freshly cooked dinner on the table at 5pm as my two sons came in from school, regardless of my busy day, alongside my guilty TV pleasure.

I have embraced and harnessed my anxiety and OCD, to become a skill. A culinary time management superpower. I have changed my career, in the pursuit of happiness, and now work as a Private Chef, working with luxury Retreat clients and designing bespoke events, including weddings, milestone celebrations and cooking lessons for my own private clients.

I have discovered my passion and joy is sharing my gift of love and connection through sharing food around the kitchen and dining tables.

Thank you for reading. Next week I will share a recipe showing you how you I design the cooking method time processes

So here is a glimpse into my ‘here's how too.’ This recipe was inspired from Claire Thomson's new book -One Pan Beans. Chickpeas with lamb, saffron and cumin. My version came about from a realistic fridge raid. What could I make with the ingredients I had? Sometimes there is no desire or physical time to shop. Recipes are always a guide and should not deter you from making a delicious dish. Combining and substituting harmonious flavours of spices, herbs and, in this case making koftas with lamb mince instead of diced lamb leg. Plus added imagination of new spices and a time plan for the processes.

One pan Spicy Lamb kofta with chickpeas and spinach

Serves 4 - generously

800g lamb mince

1 large onion

For the dried spice mix

2 heaped tsp ground turmeric

4 heaped tsp ground cumin

4 tsp aleppo chilli flakes

2 tsp paprika

4 cloves garlic, crushed

1 tbsp tomato puree

2 heaped tsp harissa paste

40 g chopped parsley

200g frozen spinach

1 large Jar or 2 tins chickpeas, retaining juices

Salt and pepper to season

Method

So firstly I will look at the stand-alone processes and combine where necessary (approx. timings). This can all be done in advance and set aside.

1.Measure out dried spices into ramekin/ bowl - 5 mins

2. Chop onion - set aside cover with cling film- 3 mins

3. Chop parsley - 2 mins

4. Crush garlic cloves 1 min

5. Measure out tomato puree and harissa, 1 min

6. Combine lamb mince with dried spices, parsley garlic - set aside the whole process approximately 12 minutes.

This is where I would personally get too. The spices and herbs will deepen in flavour. And you have everything in one bowl to go into the fridge. Minimal washing up, smugometer on high as dinner prep sorted. Get on with your day! (If you can’t get this far, just having all your ingredients measured out is a time saver for later. I have done this with my hat and coat on, dogs champing at the bit to go for a walk! You may not have the inclination to cook later if you don’t start! And that means a takeaway. I have been here. Getting started and ahead of the game makes life easier)

7. Shape into patties - should make approx. 10-16 and take approximately 10 minutes. Plate, cover, chill until you are ready to cook.

When ready to cook, allow approximately 30 minutes for this step in the time plan process.

Oven on low at 140 fan, 160 c

Add a glug of olive oil in a large sauté pan, preferably with a lid, browning the patties, till golden on each side.

Place on plate and pop in oven to keep warm - 7-8 minutes

In the same pan gently fry chopped onion, till translucent, then add tomato puree and harissa. - 8 minutes

Add chickpeas plus liquid, add the frozen spinach and simmer for a further 5 minutes, ensuring spinach cooked down to make a sauce.

Turn the oven off, remove patties from the oven, and add to the sauce and simmer gently, with the lid on, until patties are cooked through. Allow 10-15 minutes. Taste and check for seasoning.

Turn heat off. This pan can now sit to let favours develop and mature until you are ready to eat.

A great dish for when family members often come home at different times and can help themselves. I have the TV remote in my hands!! Boxsetbetty style!!! See below!

Or once cooled, can be refrigerated for up to 2 days until ready to eat. Ensure dish is heated through thoroughly before serving.