On finding my voice, Tizwaz and Top of the Pops

The comfort of cake

As this is about voice, and finding my voice, I decided to read a little to you. I enjoyed it. Let me know if you like it too! Click on the link above.

My Nan helped me find my voice. Well, the sound of my voice and how to speak properly. She decided that I needed to speak with confidence, and as she was an opera singer, in the local operatic society, she wanted me to learn how to use my diaphragm to project my voice. To learn how to have a voice. To hear and encourage that little voice inside of me to come out, for when, for so long, I had had no voice. And, it would still be a very long, long while until I truly found my voice. Because children of alcoholics are silenced by shame and isolated by what they have seen and heard. And I needed to be brave and confident as I soon would be leaving the safety net of Primary school and into the world of Secondary school.

Looking back now, little did I know that my future professional PR, Media and Marketing career would be built from these speech and drama lessons and exams with a lovely lady called Mrs Peacock.  

Every Saturday morning my grandpa would drive me to Mrs Peacock, drop me off and wait for me. For half an hour I would chant ‘how now brown cow’, my lips, mouth and breath forming and pushing out the vowels, almost yoga like, using the breath to breathe in and then forcefully emptying my lungs of buried sadness and sourness; swimming breastroke arm actions, together with frog like squats, would accompany ‘there is an otter in the water swimming around, swimming around’ – body and breath opening up, working in symmetry, opening up my crushed heart and lungs. All to the background guffaws of her husband and sons, in the next room, watching the unruly, untethered humour of Chris Tarrant, TIZWAS and Spit the Dog. Bizarre how I can still hear it now. These were subtle lessons, learning to speak well, articulate, perform and to love the power of the word. The Consumer, Corporate Crisis Management PR professional I became was in the making. I did not know it then.

Every Sunday evening before school I would listen to the top twenty count down on the radio, sat with my cassette tape recorder, red record button at the ready to record all the latest songs I liked, shushing to mum to be quiet when a favourite track came on. And then would sing along to the recorded tracks, in my room, with my hairbrush as a microphone, pretending I was on Top of the Pops. I so wanted to break out and be on stage. To be in front of an audience. To perform.

I now know I can do that. I am able to share my buried story and love myself enough to know there is no shame and there is a way out into the light.

Food is love and for me is an expression of self-love as I cook from the heart. Food is also performance and before every event, with my team, I bring them together and say ‘its Showtime – let’s do this!’

The comfort of Cake

This is in memory of my Nan. We would always have a freshly made cake on a Sunday for tea. She desperately worked hard to keep us as a family together. And of course eating and sharing a food is an expression of love, comfort and care. We all need to do more of this in our busy lives.

There are many cakes I could choose. But I am going to share this one. It serves both as an afternoon cake for tea and can be a glamorous dessert too, served with a raspberry coulis, fresh raspberries and crème fraiche. Nan would have loved it as she would have used her home-grown raspberries and pears. But to bring it up to date it is gluten free and works equally as well with frozen raspberries. No need to defrost either. Two for the price of one, is simple and delicious.

Ingredients

150 g (½ cup + 5 tsp) unsalted butter– at room temperature

160 g (⅔ cup) caster sugar

3      large eggs – at room temperature

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

75g (½ cup) gluten-free plain/all-purpose flour 

1      ½ teaspoon gluten-free baking powder

125 g (1 ¼ cup) ground almonds

2 medium-sized pears peeled, cored and chopped

125g raspberries fresh or frozen, divided.

¼ cup flaked almonds

Icing sugar for dusting

Whipped cream, crème fraiche, fresh berries to serve

Instructions

1.    Grease and line the base and sides of a 22cm springform tin.

2.    Preheat the oven to 180C/350F.

3.    Add butter and sugar to the bowl of a stand mixer- or free hand electric mixer

4.    Beat the butter and sugar until it is thick and pale.

5.    Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Add the vanilla with the last egg. The mixture may appear to separate but it will come together with the addition of the flour and almond meal.

6.    Sift the flour and baking powder together.

7.    With the mixer on the lowest speed, gently add the flour, baking powder and ground almonds.

8.    Remove the bowl and, using a rubber spatula or large metal spoon, gently fold in the pear and most of the berries.

9.    Spread the mixture into the prepared cake tin.

10. Place the remaining berries randomly on the top of the cake batter and sprinkle with the flaked almonds.

11. Bake for 40-50 minutes or until a skewer inserted into the centre of the cake comes out clean.

12. Cool in the pan for about 10 minutes.

13. Remove the sides of the cake tin and finish cooling on a wire rack.

14. When the cake is completely cool, carefully remove the base of the tin and the baking paper and transfer to a serving platter.

15. Dust with icing sugar.

16. Serve with lightly whipped cream, crème fraiche and berries – optional.